


Misclassified

by Freepoetynightmare



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Age Play Caregiver Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Age Play Caregiver Logic | Logan Sanders, Age Play Caregiver Morality | Patton Sanders, Age Play Little Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Age Play Little Deceit | Janus Sanders, Age Regression/De-Aging, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Other, Vomiting, classified verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:06:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25774072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freepoetynightmare/pseuds/Freepoetynightmare
Summary: Janus thought he was a caregiver. Turns out he's a little. A classified verse story.
Relationships: Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 44
Kudos: 178





	1. Chapter 1

Janus was assigned a Caregiver. Something that fits like a too small coat. Just..off, but not enough for him to understand why. He grew up around Caregivers, almost everyone in his family were caregivers. He knew how to caregive like breathing. It didn’t come naturally though, it was learned from years and years of observation and helping out. 

So when he got a job at a little daycare well...that was supposed to be perfect right? 

He only lasted a half day before he had to leave. He claimed he was getting sick to his stomach and his coworker insisted that he leave before he got anyone else sick. The drive home was… strange. His head left funny and he just wanted to sleep.

He got home and found one of his roommates Patton was already there. “Oh. Hi!” 

“You’re back early.” Janus stated. 

“So are you.” Patton said. 

“I...wasn’t feeling great.” Janus said.

Patton looked at him, switching into Caregiver mode, “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

Janus shook his head, “Just...felt off. Might be coming down with something.” 

Patton nodded, “Alright. Tell me if there’s anything I can do to help you out.” 

“Of course.” Janus lied smoothly. He wasn’t going to bother either of his roommates more than he had too. 

Patton frowned and put a hand to Janus’s forehead. Janus leaned into the touch and almost whined when it was taken away. “No fever.”

Janus cleared his throat. His head felt foggy. Why was it foggy? “I think I’ll take a nap.” 

“Alright.” Patton said letting him move past to his room.

He locked his bedroom door and hid under the covers. He hugged his pillow to his chest and sighed. He felt better hugging something. Was he touch starved? He couldn’t be! He was giving out hugs all morning to the littles that asked for them. 

If anything he should be getting too much touch. “I don’t get it.” He muttered. His thoughts were slow. Was he getting sick?

He dozed off and woke up at around one in the morning. His thoughts were still slow. He wanted to get something to eat but that meant leaving his room and he forgot how to unlock the door.

How did he forget that? He had to have been really tired still….But he felt awake.

Janus layed back down and tried to sleep. He was restless but managed after a while. 

He called in sick the next day. He was better but still off. He kept forgetting how to do simple things and his attention span was shorter. He didn’t have a fever, or a couch. He wasn’t nauseous. What was wrong with him?

“Janus?” Logan, his other roommate asked as he walked into the kitchen and found him staring into his coffee cup. “Are you alright?”

“Mm? Fine...Just….A little off.” Janus muttered. He didn’t want to drink the coffee. That was odd. It tasted fine. 

Logan also put his hand to Janus’s forehead and shook his head, “No fever.” 

Janus whined when Logan removed his hand. Janus slapped a hand over his mouth. Logan stared at him, “Are you-”

“Fine! Just….tired. Excuse me!” Janus bolted from the room. He closed his door and locked it. 

He was shaking. He had to get over this! 

He ignored the feeling and went back to work the next day. He had almost cried when one of the littles spilled their drink on him. He was exhausted by the end of the day and he barely got home before he let himself break down.

“Janus?” Patton knocked on his door. 

“Come in.” He said, wiping his face off. 

Patton opened the door and stepped in. “Are you alright?”

He wanted to lie. To say yes and let Patton leave him to his misery. Instead he shook his head. “It’s hard.”

“What is?” Patton asked sitting down on the bed next to where Janus sat hugging his pillow. 

“Work.” Janus said.

Patton nodded, “Don’t I know it.”

“I’m just..I feel...so weird lately and I don’t know why.” Janus said honestly. Why was he being so honest?

“Mmm.” Patton hummed thinking. “You have seemed to be…”

“What?” 

“Well..If I didn’t know better I would say that you were little.” Patton said. 

Janus blinked, “What? How?”

“Well...It’s mostly just a feeling I had.” Patton said shifting. “Like...that gut instinct when you see a little that needs help… You know?”

Janus didn’t know. He had no idea what that felt like. “I..I don’t think that I do.”

Patton frowned, “You’ve had to have felt it before! You know! When a little gets all upset and you just want to make it all better!” 

Janus shook his head, “I’ve never...I mean I want to help I just...I don’t..NEED to.”

Patton tilted his head to the side. “That’s weird.” 

“I know.” Janus said, looking down at the pillow in his arms.

Patton quickly back tracked his instincts screaming at him to fix it! “Hey! Whoa! I’m sure there are other Caregivers that have the same problem!”

“It’s a problem?” Janus asked, his lower lip trembling. 

“NO! Nonono! I didn’t mean it like that! I just...Logan!” He called.

Logan stuck his head, “What’s wrong?”

“Do you ever not feel that...care instinct when met with an upset little?” Patton asked.

Logan looked at Janus and felt the very instinct they were talking about. “Is this about Janus being a little?”

“N-no I’m not.” Janus said, shaking his head.

“Well You’ve been showing many signs that you’ve gotten misclassified.” Logan said stepping into the room. “From more childish behavior when stressed to now where you seem to be taking comfort in hugging a plush item.” He nodded to the pillow.

“Yeah but..That doesn’t mean..” Patton said looking between the two.

“Well there’s an easy way to figure it out.” Logan said.

“Really?” Janus asked.

“Sure. You just retake the classification test.” Logan said.


	2. testing testing

“I’m sorry but you’d need a good reason for retaking the test.” The woman said not looking up from the computer screen. 

“I’ve already stated that we have reason to believe that he was misclassified.” Logan said through his teeth. He had been fighting with a dozen different people trying to set up another test. 

“Mmm. Alright. I’ll see what I can.” She said she was still not looking up. 

Logan sighed and left. 

“Any luck?” Patton asked as soon as he picked up the phone. 

“No. I highly doubt she’ll be of any help.” Logan said, rubbing his forehead. This was harder than he had thought. “How is he?”

“Still shaken up.” Patton said.

Janus had regressed for the first time and had freaked out at just how young he had been. It made sense he had been putting it off for….well.. Ever.

“I don’t understand! I’m a caregiver! I shouldn’t be able to regress!” He said after he snapped out of it. 

“I’m not doing that again!” He yelled, Logan could hear him through the phone.

“You will if it’s good for you!” Patton shot back.

Logan sighed. Their friend was too stubborn for his own good. He may have to drag Roman into this. The caregiver had also been misclassified, only he had the reverse problem as he was labeled a Little. 

It wasn’t until he met Virgil and saw him regressed that he figured it out. Why he never really regressed and it was more age dreaming. Why he took over the older brother role for other littles. So he retook the test and got Caregiver which made far more sense. 

Of course if he brought Roman into it Remus was bound to show up. Well he was at a dead end so he might as well give him a call.

Roman was quick to agree on the condition that he could bring Virgil along as he had been feeling small more often lately and didn’t want to leave him unattended. Logan agreed to this and Roman said he would be over shortly.

He got to Logan’s apartment before Logan did. He walked into shouting.

“I am not little!” Janus growled.

“There’s nothing wrong with being little!” Patton said.

“Yeah!” Roman agreed.

“Then why did you change?” Janus demanded.

“I didn’t! There was a mistake!” Roman shouted. Virgil whimpered and Roman put an arm around him. He spoke in a calmer voice, “Trust me, trying to be something you’re not isn’t going to help anyone.”

Janus ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t...I can’t be...This has to be some weird sickness or something!”

“Why can’t you?” Logan asked breaking it to the ‘conversion’. 

Janus looked up at him. “I just...What am I going to do with my life if that’s the case?” He sat down heavily. “Spent my whole taking care of people...I can’t just stop now.”

“Why not?” Patton asked, sitting down next to him. 

“This is my life's purpose...who am I without that?” He sounded so...hollow.

Logan sat down on his other side. “I can’t imagine what it feels like to have an entire future ripped away from you. But...we’re here for you to get you through it.” 

Janus sighed. “Fine.”

It took another two weeks before Logan got a call back about a second test. Janus was nervous but agreed that it was for the best. 

The day of the test Logan dropped him off and picked him up afraid that the stress of it would make him regress again. 

It would take another week before he got his results back. Maybe longer as he had taken a more extensive test. In the meantime he kept working at the daycare center and was starting to think that the whole regression thing was a fluke as he hadn’t felt foggy headed since. 

Maybe it was some weird sickness? But then again he still didn’t feel that ‘gut feeling’ that Patton, Logan, and Roman all talked about. Maybe he was neutral?

“You doing ok? You’re staring off into space.” Someone asked.

He shook his head and looked over at the new employee. He frowned, “Roman?” No it couldn’t be Roman. Roman didn’t have a mustache.

The man laughed, “Close. It’s Remus. You must know my brother.”

“We’ve met. Can’t say I’m impressed.” Janus said, shaking the man’s hand.

Remus laughed again. “Nice to meet someone else who isn’t charmed by the prince!” 

Janus smiled slightly at that. “So you’re a new caregiver?”

Remus shook his head, “Neutral. I just have a knack for watching the little bastards.” 

Janus shouldn’t have laughed at that. He really shouldn’t have. But the way Remus said it. 

Then he froze, realizing that he might be a little bastard too. “You alright mystery man?” 

“Janus...Name’s Janus.” He muttered.

Remus laughed again. “Janus and Remus...I like it.”

Janus scowled. “I should get back to work.” 

“See you around!” Remus called as Janus walked away.

He got a text soon after that his results got in. He was a wreck as he waited for the day to be over so he could go home. 

He got in and Patton handed him the letter. It was unopened. His hands shook. 

“Do you want me to open it?” Patton asked gently. Janus shoved the letter back at him.

He sat down on the couch. “Read it please?”

Patton opened it and scanned through the letter. Then frowned and scanned through it again.

“What?” Janus asked.

“I’ve...never even heard of this.” Patton said.

Janus’s stress was skyrocketing. “What?” 

Patton noticed. “Hey it’s ok.” 

“Just tell me what it says!”Janus snapped.

“You’re a caregiver.” Patton said.

Janus took a breath.

“And a little.” Patton continued.

Janus blinked. “What?”


	3. scared.

SInce it was so rare, Janus was given two id cards. One for Caregiver, one for little. He was supposed to carry both around with him when he was out. Just in case he regressed in public. The thought made him shiver.

He hated it. Logan and Patton had insisted on getting him baby stuff because of course his age range was 1-5. He couldn’t be older! Noooo! That would have been too easy! Instead he had to be in the almost youngest age range. 

He sighed again. 

“You doing ok?” Remus asked as he stood up from tying a little’s shoe.

Remus had quickly become a good friend. Still Janus was hesitant to tell him about this. He wasn’t even sure where to start. 

He wordlessly pulled out his id cards and handed them to him. Remus looked at him confused for a second. “You got the wrong card?” He asked holding up the little id.

Janus shook his head, “No. I got retested. Turns out I’m..both.” 

Remus grinned, “That’s so cool!’  
Janus didn’t expect that. “Really?”

“Yeah! I’ve never even heard of that happening! You must be like….One in a billion!” Remus said, handing the cards back. Janus pocketed them.

“That implies there’s only six or so others like me.” Janus said, rolling his eyes.

“Limited edition.” Remus said.

Janus laughed. He felt better. Remu paused before looking around, “No I’ve just got to catch the other one for a complete set!”

Janus snorted, “No kidnapping!” 

Remus smirked before scooping him up into his arms, “Nope! Mine now!”

“Wha..! REMUS!” Janus shrieked in between laughs.

There was more laughter as other littles watching this play laughed along with Janus. Janus put his arms around Remus’s neck (Just to make sure he did fall. Only because of that.). 

“If you’re going to bang do it on your days off.” One of their co-workers said. 

“What’s bang?” One of the littles asked.

“It’s like boom!” Another answered.

“oh...Why would Jay and Re go boom?” She asked using their nicknames. 

Remus put Janus down so he could laugh. Janus was struggling to not laugh too. He took a look at Remus’s face before he lost it. 

\---

He was humming happily to himself when he got home. Patton looked at him surprised before beaming, “Good day?”

Janus had been in a constant bad mood since his id cards came in.

Janus nodded, “Yeah. I was on the same shift as Remus.” 

“Roman’s brother right?” Patton clarified. He had never met the twins but had heard quite a bit from his friend. 

“Yeah.” Janus said half in his little headspace. Something that Patton was quick to notice. “He’s really nice. He made me feel like I wasn’t a freak.”

“You aren’t a freak.” Patton said. “You’re One in a million.” 

“Re said billion.” Janus said with a slight pout causing Patton to laugh.

Janus huffed and crossed his arms. “Uh oh. Someone’s still in their work clothes! Think you can go get changed?” Patton asked, wanting to remind him before he slipped so far that he needed help. He was still upset that he had needed help from Patton and Logan last time.

Janus nodded and ran off. He struggled a bit with his buttons but got changed into his Pj’s. They were black with gold teddy bears on them. He also grabbed his new plush snake and walked back out to find Logan was back.

“HI.” He waved. 

Logan smiled at him, “Hello. How are you doing Janus?”

“Mkay. I got to play with Re today and he’s really nice.” Janus said walking over and sitting down on the couch. “And I told him about me and he was really nice.”

Logan nodded, “That’s great. I’m glad you had fun.”

Janus bounced in place and flapped his hands happily. “Yea yea yea!” 

Patton laughed, “What do you want for supper kiddo?” 

Janus titled his head in thought before speaking, “Ice cream!” 

“That’s a dessert. What do you want first?” Logan said.

“Mac an cheese!” 

“And?”

“Ore mac an cheese! Lots and lots!” He said bouncing more.

“How about a hot dog to go with it?” Patton offered. 

“Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!” He nodded his head. 

Patton laughed at his excitement and Logan smiled. Janus was a sweet little. Excited and curious. 

“Would you like to help cook? You can tell me more about your day!” Patton said.  
Janus jumped up his snake plush around his shoulders. “Ok!”

He got to pour the pasta into the water and stir it. Babbling about all the things he did that day. “And then they said we went boom!” 

“Boom?” Logan asked.

“We bang.” Janus said. “Remus and me. But we didn't, they just said so.” Patton and Logan looked at each other confused. 

“Bang?”

“Yeah yeah yeah! It was really funny..” He paused then shrugged, “I dunno why now. But we laughed sooo much!”

“I’m glad.” Patton said, making a mental reminder to ask Janus what Bang meant when he was bigger. He set the plate in front of him. Janus clapped his hands happily, “Thanks chu!”

He dug in, eating with a spoon instead of a fork so he didn’t stab himself. Logan and Patton also had mac and cheese with hotdogs seeing as it was already cooked. Janus was half way done with his small plate of food when he stopped eating. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“Juice please.” He asked shily.

Patton ruffled his hair as Logan stood up to get him a sippy cup of juice. He handed the apple juice to him. “Thanks chu!” 

“You’re very welcome.” 

They kept eating. Then there was a knock at the door. Logan stood to get it while Patton beamed and turned to Janus, “You’re surprise is here!”

“I get a surprise?” He asked, bouncing.

Logan opened the door and Roman stepped in with Little Virgil. 

Janus waved at Virgil. “Hi!”

Virgil hid behind Roman. “It’s ok stormcloud.” Roman muttered to him.

“Why hide?” Janus asked, pointing confused. 

“It’s ok Virgil.” Logan said. 

Virgil shook his head and pointed at Janus, “Mean!” 

Oh. Right the last time he had seen him he had been yelling about not wanting to be a little. Patton watched as Janus’s face dropped. 

“I...I’m not mean!” He yelled.

“Yes you are!” Virgil shouted back.

“Boys!” Patton snapped.

Janus looked at Patton hurt before running off.

Logan sighed. “Maybe this was a bad idea.” 

Roman had Virgil face him, “That was big Janus. Not little Janus. Little Janus is different. Just like little you is different.” He explained calmly.

“He nice?” Virgil asked.

“He’s very nice.” Logan promised.

“Oh...sorry.” Virgil said, staring down at his feet.

“I’ll go get him.” Patton said. He got to Janus’s room and knocked. “Kiddo?” He opened the door and didn’t see him anywhere.

The closet door was open just a bit. He opened it and found Janus hugging his knees in the corner. “Virgil is sorry he called you mean. Will you come out now?”

Janus shook his head, he looked terrified. 

“Janus?” Patton reached towards him and Janus screamed. Patton backed off.

Logan rushed in, “What happened?”

Patton shook his head, “I don’t know he won’t let me get close.”

Logan looked at Janus who whimpered and tried to press himself further into the corner. Roman came in closely followed by Virgil, “Everything ok in here?”

Janus started crying as he looked up at the three adults. Virgil got down next to him. “It’s ok.”

“No.” Janus said shaking his head.

“Virgil maybe-”Roman started. 

Patton stopped him. “Let him help.”

Virgil grabbed Janus’s hands. “Don’t cry.” He said. 

“But…” He glanced at Patton and flinched, “Scary.” He whispered. Patton’s heart broke. He had scared him. 

“No. Not scary.” Virgil said, “They’re nice. Promise.” He held out his pinkie. Janus shook it with his own and Virgil was able to get him out of the closet. 

“I’m sorry I scared you.” Patton said.

Janus won’t look at him. He was quiet as he played with Virgil, letting him take the lead. He panicked when Roman said that it was time for them to leave. Janus watched sadly as Virgil left with Roman.

“Can I come closer?” Logan asked.

Janus took a breath. “Nice.” He reminded himself before nodding. Logan took a step closer.

“Can I hug you?” He asked.

Janus looked at him, “o-ok.” He was trembling. 

“You don’t have to accept the hug.” Logan said, backing off.

“Th-thank you.” Janus said looking down. 

“It’s late. Do you want to go to bed?” Logan asked.

“Not on the couch?” Janus asked looking up.

What happened to him? “Of course not.” Logan said.

Janus nodded and smiled a little. “Good night.”

“Good night Janus.” Logan said. 

Janus kept an eye on Logan as he backed up to his room before bolting inside and closing the door. 

Logan sat down on the couch. Patton stepped into the room slowly. He had freaked out as soon as he wasn't there with him and only calmed down after Patton ducked into his and Logan’s room.  
“What happened to him that made him that scared?” Logan asked.

“I...I never did anything.” Patton said, heart broken. 

“I don’t think either of us are to blame.” Logan said. “We should ask him about his childhood.” 

“He grew up with Caregiver parents.” Patton said in defense. 

“And he was scared of any caregiver that came close to him.” Logan said.

They sat in silence. “What do we do now?”

“We stay here for him in whatever way we can.” Logan answered hugging his boyfriend. “It’s all we can do.”


	4. Remus's turn

Janus walked into the kitchen the next morning and found Patton who froze upon seeing him. Brown eyes wide and terrorfied. Janus’s heart sank. What had he done to Patton in little space that he looked scared?

“I...I should go.” Janus said, dropping his eyes and bolting from the room. Patton stayed frozen as he left. 

He got to the bathroom and locked the door. He stared in the mirror. He didn’t see his face, He saw his mother’s. How he looked like her, the resemblance striking. He was as strong as an adult in little space, what if you copied his mother’s temper? Her tendice to lash out? 

What if he had hurt Patton? What if he was like his mother? The thought brought bile up his throat and he barely got to the toilet in time before emptying his stomach. He was shaking as he wiped his mouth off. 

He had tried so hard to make sure he wasn’t like her! He never yelled at the littles or…

There was a knock at the door, “Janus? Are you alright?” Logan called.

“Yes. I’m fine.” Janus called back.

“Are you no longer Regressed?” Logan’s voice was strained. What the hell did he do to them?

“Yeah I’m...back to normal.” He could almost feel Logan’s relief.  
“Well then..if you want to join us for breakfast-”

“I need to get ready for work.” He said strained.

“I didn’t know you worked today.” Logan said after a pause. He didn’t but he couldn’t stay here. Not after...whatever he did. He couldn’t have Patton look at him like that. 

“They called...need a replacement. Someone called in sick.” Janus lied.

“Are you sure you aren’t sick as well?” Logan asked.

“I’m fine!” Janus snapped before slapping a hand over his mouth. He couldn’t yell at them. What if he scared him? God! Why did he have to be a monster? He knew this would end up happening!

No escaping his past. He was destined to be his mother wasn’t he? 

He unlocked the door and passed Logan to his room. He got dressed and didn’t meet either of their eyes on the way out. He felt them watch him, afraid. 

He walked aimlessly for a while. Lost in thoughts of his past. Of years of abuse at the hands of someone who should have taken care of him. A nurturing hand turned violent at the slightest mistake or slip up. It gave him a rage that he spent years struggling to contain. To not be the monster he grew up with. 

To be a real Caregiver. To prove that he was worth something and could do better than she ever dreamed of. But he failed, didn’t he? He wasn’t a toxic Caregiver...no.. He was a toxic little. His violent impulses must not be contained when he was small.

“Janus?” He looked up and saw Remus ahead of him on the sidewalk. 

“Remus?” He was stunned; he didn’t expect to run into him.

Remus beamed at him, “How are you doing?”

“I’m…”He sighed he didn’t want to lie to Remus. “I’m not great. I think I messed up.” 

Remus frowned, “You want to talk about it over coffee?”

Less than a half hour later they were seated outside some small cafe that was nearby drinks in hand. Remus calmly sipping on his drink waiting for Janus to talk.

“I..am not a good person.” Janus said. “I try to be. God do I try.” He laughed a little before turning sober again. “But I’m not. I’m…”

“Why do you think You’re a bad person?” Remus asked.

“Well...I’m so...angry. All the time. At everything! And I try to control but..I think I hurt my roommates.” Janus said. 

“You think?” Remus asked.

“I was regressed and it’s all fuzzy...I just remember Patton running away and Logan not wanting to get close to him. Roman rushed off with Virgil!” 

“Who’s Virgil?” Remus asked.

“He’s Roman’s Little.” Janus said. 

Remus made a mmm sound and took another sip. “Good for him!” 

“Yeah.”

“So you think that you hurt them?” Remus asked.

“Yeah. I saw Patton this morning and he was terrified of me.” Janus said guilty.

He looked down into his coffee. He wanted to throw up again. He could hear his mother yelling at him in his head.

“I think you need to talk to them. I think they are more afraid of hurting you than you hurting them.” Remus said relaxed.

“What? Why?”

“Caregivers are tough. And strong.” Remus looked Janus over. “You’re on the short side. They could handle a temper tantrum.” 

“It’s more than a temper tantrum.” Janus said flatly.

“I don’t think you have it in you.” Remus said. “You’re too upset about the idea of hurting them. Little you wouldn’t do that.”

“You don’t know what kind of a monster I can be.” Janus said.

Remus looked at him and narrowed his eyes. “Alright. I’m up for a challenge. But to my place. You regress and I’ll see how bad you really are.” 

“Wha-what?” Janus asked. “How did I know I can trust you?” He did trust Remus. Enough to be here and tell him everything. They had a connection that Janus didn’t know what to call.

Remus shrugged, “That’s up to you.”

Janus hesitated. “Ok.”

\---

Remus’s apartment was spotless. “I have a toy chest in the closet over there.” He said pointing to the far corner of his living room.

“Why do you have that?” Janus asked, taking his shoes off.

“I babysit.” Remus said.

“You’re weird you know that?” Janus said.

Remus looked him dead in the eye, “No. I just refuse to be put in a box.” 

Janus blinked first. He walked over to the closet and opened it to find an array of baby, to toddler, to older kids stuff. Baby blankets, building blocks, legos, video games.

“What’s your age range?” Remus asked from his kitchen.

“I’m...1 to 5.” Janus said softly petting a baby blanket. 

“So sippy cup?” He asked. 

Janus replied with a short yes. He pulled the soft blanket out and rubbed it against his cheek. He hummed happily, he was falling into Little space easier than he thought he would. For some reason he felt...safe here. Happy.

He knew Remus, saw how he acted around Littles. He trusted him with this part of himself. Trusted him to be able to handle him as a little monster.

“Apple or grape?” Remus called.

“You got orange?” Janus asked.

Remus poked his head out and smiled, “I do. But it’ll take time to thaw.” 

“I wait.” Janus said sitting down with the blanket. 

Remus nodded and turned back into the kitchen. Janus pulled out the bag of building blocks and opened it. One hand held onto the blanket and the other focused on the blocks.

Remus came in and sat down next to him on the floor. “Having fun?”

“Mhmm! Yeah yeah yeah!” Janus said flapping his hands real quick before going back to building. 

Remus noticed, “Oh? Does someone have happy hands?” he asked.

Janus bounced a little and hummed flapping his hands again, “Yeah yeah yeah! Happy happy hands!”

“You’re cute aren’t you?” Remus said ruffling Janus’s hair.

Janus giggled and rocked back and forth a little before going back to building. Something Remus praised him on. 

He watched and he didn’t see a problem with Janus at all. He seemed like a pretty cute little. 

Until a door slammed somewhere nearby. Janus froze and hid under the blanket.

“It’s ok. It was just the neighbors.” Remus said.

Janus shook under the blanket, “No! She’s gonna get me!”

“Who is?” Remus asked.

“Mama.” Janus said. “She’ll find me and be mad!”

Remus felt ice in his stomach. “I’ll protect you. She won’t get past me.”

Janus peeked out at him. “Really?”

“Promise.” He said holding out his pinkie finger. Janus shook it. He threw himself into Remus’s lap and stayed there until he fell asleep. 

When he woke up hours later on the couch he stretched. “Remus?” He looked around and saw Remus sitting nearby staring off into space a distrubed look on his face.

Janus’s shivered. Remus looked up at him before smiling. “Orange juice? You didn’t get it before you fell asleep.” He stood up and nudged the sippy cup towards Janus.

“Remus what did I do?” Janus asked.

“You should drink it.” Remus continued. 

Janus scowled. He unscrewed the top and chugged the drink. “Now...tell me!”

Remus sighed, “You're Not the monster Jan.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“You were scared. Very very scared. Of mama.” Remus said.

Janus’s breath quickened. He shook his head, “I’m not..scared of her anymore. She’s dead.”

“Good! From what I could tell the woman was a monster!” Remus snapped.

Janus recoiled as if he had been struck. Like your mother. The monster. His brain supplied. 

He stood. “I should be getting home.” He said in a flat tone. 

Remus didn’t argue. “See you at work.”

Janus gave a stiff nod. 

He walked home, his thoughts swirling. Patton wasn’t scared of him. He had been scared of Patton. Patton was scared of hurting him. 

He needed to talk to them.


	5. a talk and plan.

Janus got back and took a deep breath as Logan and Patton froze when they saw him. He exhale and smiled, “Hi.”

“Hello...Did work go well?” Logan asked.

Work? Oh! Right.. “I didn’t end up going in.”

Logan frowned, “Then where...Nevermind its none of my business.” 

“No. It’s fine. I was with Remus...We tried something.” 

“Bang?” Patton asked.

Janus snorted, “What? No! He watched me while I was...you know…” 

“Are you ok?” Patton asked.

Janus hesitated. “I was going to ask you two that. I seem to have scared you and I’m sorry...I didn’t think that...I didn’t mean to hurt you!” 

Logan and Patton looked concerned and confused. “What do you mean? You didn’t hurt us.”

“Then why are you scared?” 

“We don’t want to frighten you. You seem to have been very scared of us during your regression.” Logan said. 

Janus sat down, “I guess I owe you an explanation.” 

“Only if you want to share.” Patton said, putting a hand over his. 

Janus took a breath and nodded. “My..mother was a caregiver and she...wasn’t nice. To put it mildly.” 

“I’m sorry.” Patton squeezed his hand. Janus’s lips twitch upwards.

“It’s fine. She’s been dead for years. She can’t hurt me anymore. Or anyone for that matter.” Janus stared at the table top. Thoughts of his mother swirling through his head. This wasn’t a secret but it was still hard to talk about...Then again it was good to get it off his chest. 

“You were abused?” Logan asked softly.

Janus nodded once. “She was a big fan of physical punishment.” Patton gasped at that. He didn’t want to look up to see pity or whatever he felt. He just pushed on. “I had to be perfect or else and that definition changed from day to day. It was impossible to keep up.”

“I wanted so badly to be able to do better than her. To be everything a Caregiver should be...But I’m not...right.” He said closing his eyes tightly to keep from crying.

He was pulled into Patton’s arms. “Oh honey no! You’re perfect just as you are!”

He sobbed and pulled back, “I’m sorry I shouldn’t be so…” He was cut off by a sob.

“No! You’ve been hurt. You have to let yourself feel that.” Logan said. “You’re ok.”

“No I’m not.” He whispered. “I’m...messed up.”

Patton and Logan shared a look. “You’re hurt. There is a difference.”

“What did I do that made Roman...I just remember him looking at me in..horror?” 

“You were scared it wasn’t your fault.” Patton said.

Janus frowned, “What happened that triggered it? I don’t remember it being bad last time...or that first time.”

Patton looked guilty. “I...um..May have yelled a little to get you and Virgil to stop fighting. I think that caused you to..hide.” 

Janus nodded. That made sense. He stood up. “I..I need a minute.” He went to his room before they could speak. He closed and locked the door. He crawled into bed and hugged his stuffed dog that Patton got him to his chest. 

So he was scared of Caregivers when he was regressed. That explained a lot. Their reaction to him this morning. Why he seemed fine with Remus.

What was he going to do? Was he going to be scared of them any time there was a loud noise while he was regressed? That’s way too much strain to put on his roommates.

Maybe he should move out. He could handle being regressed on his own, couldn’t he? After all he can’t have a caregiver if he’s terrified of them. 

Why couldn’t he be normal? Why did he have to be so messed up? 

Why couldn’t he have just been a caregiver only? Why did he have to be a freak!

He fell asleep crying. 

He woke up the next morning fuzzy headed. He got out of bed and listened. It was late in the morning he had slept in. Patton and Logan had to be gone by now. He was alone.

Good. He could see how well he did on his own regressed.

It wasn’t hard to get into little space he was so close after last night’s talk. He dressed in pajamas and carried the stuffed dog with him. 

He put on cartoons and got out crayons and colored in the middle of the living room. Everything was going smoothly. 

Until there was a bang from the upstairs apartment. He was down the hall and in the back of his closet in seconds. There he huddled and cried silently until Patton got back at noon. 

He paused in the living room, the t.v on and coloring supplies were spread across the floor. He dropped off his work bag and set off to find Janus. Hopefully he wasn’t scared. 

He was very very scared. He screamed again when he saw Patton and his breathing quickened. Nothing Patton said or did calmed him down.

He did the only thing he could think of. He called Remus.

“Hello?” 

“Remus! Thank god! I need your help! Janus is freaking out and I can’t get near him!” Patton said.

“I’ll be right over!..where do you live again?” Remus asked.

He was over in less then a half hour. “Where is he?” He asked as soon as Patton opened the door.

“Down the hall, in the closet.” Patton pointed. 

Remus took off down the hall and got to the closet. Janus took one look at him and threw himself at Remus. He whimpered and held onto him with a death grip.

“Shhhh. It’s ok. I’m here. I’ve got you. You’re safe.” He muttered, stroking Janus’s hair. 

Janus saw Patton over Remus’s shoulder and whimpered and hid his face. Patton’s heart broke. 

“Hey no it’s ok… That’s Patton. You remember Patton? He’s nice.” Remus promised and waved Patton closer. 

Patton got down on the ground at a distance. Not wanting to crowd him. Janus looked between them. “Not...like mama?” Janus asked.

“No.” Remus said, “Nice.” 

Janus looked at Patton and gave a small wave that Patton returned. 

“See? He’s nice.” Remus said shifting so that Janus was facing Patton sitting in Remus’s lap. 

“Nice.” Janus repeated. “Like you?” He asked looking up at Remus.

Remus nodded. 

“Nice nice nice.” Janus said quietly.

“Are you feeling better kiddo?” Patton asked.

Janus bounced a little, “Yeah yeah yeah….You nice.” Janus said. Patton saw the stuffed dog that Janus had dropped on his way in and handed it to the little. Janus smiled, “Nice nice nice.” he said louder and flapped his hands.

“Happy hands?” Patton asked.

Janus nodded smiling. “Happy happy happy hands!” 

Remus grinned, “Good job. What a brave baby!” 

Janus bounced excited. “Yeah yeah yeah! Brave like RE!” 

Remus laughed at his nickname coming from Janus. “No.”

“No?” Janus tilted his head confused.

“You’re brave like Janus!” Remus said booping his nose. 

Janus giggled and hugged him. Remus waved Patton closer. 

Patton shifted closer and closer until he was almost knee to knee with Remus. Janus still smiling, he was fine with Patton being close again. After all he was safe with Remus there. And Remud said that he was nice.

Janus booped Patton’s nose. “Nice!” he declared.

Patton smiled, “You too!” He booped him back. Janus giggled. 

“Noooo.”

“Oh? Did I tell you what a cute baby you are?” Patton said falling into his caregiver mode. 

“Nooo!” Janus giggled.

“I think you are!” Patton said tickling him. 

Janus laughed. Remus gave him a thumbs up. “Do you want to go back to coloring?” Patton asked.

Janus looked scared again, “But..the noise! She’ll get me!” 

“She won’t get past me!” Both Remus and Patton said at the same time.

“Promise?” 

“Promise!” echoed from both sides of him. 

“Ok then.”

Logan came home to Janus sitting in Remus’s lap while he watched t.v. A paci in his mouth. Patton cooking happily. He walked by and waved back when Janus lifted his hand. 

“What happened?” He asked.

“I got home to Janus freaking out again and called Remus. It worked.” Patton said with a shrugged. 

Logan peeked in at them. Janus’s head resting back on Remus’s shoulder as he absentmindedly sucked on the yellow paci and watched t.v. Remus holding him, a blanket over their laps. 

“Amazing.” Logan commented. 

“Mm.” Patton replied, “I think Janus’s has found someone to watch him.”

“I think so too….How do you think he’ll handle that idea?” 

“Oh a hissy fit for sure!” Patton laughed. Logan chuckled. 

“True.” 

“Too stubborn for his own good.” Patton stated. 

Logan narrowed his eyes, “We are still talking about Janus right now right?”

Patton feigned innocence. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

They smiled at each other. 

“I can hear you two flirting you know!” Remus called.

“Oh shut up!” Patton laughed. 

“Sha up!” Janus repeated. Patton looked shocked. 

“Oops.”

“Sha up sha up sha up!” Janus said repeatedly flapping his hands. Happy with his new phrase. Something Remus found hilarious.


	6. the end

“I can’t ask him to do that!” Janus said sitting at the kitchen table with Logan. 

“Why not? It seems to be a solution to your problem and he seems willing.” Logan said.

Logan and Patton had been trying to get Janus to accept that asking Remus to take care of him when he was regressed would be the best option. He of course refused this. Stating that he would rather just not regress.

Something that Patton rolled his eyes at as Logan told him it doesn’t work like that. 

“Because….” Janus sighed. Finally getting to the heart of the issue. “What if he says no?”

Logan looked at him, “You won’t know unless you ask.”

“Wow. Thanks. So motivational.” Janus said in a flat tone. 

“I have put up with you dragging your feet for the last week. If you want peppy ask Patton.” Logan said.

[Author would not stop laughing at last line and needed to use a time skip to move on with the story.]

When Janus got to work he was awkward around Remus. He didn’t mean to be! It was just...he was afraid Remus would treat him differently. Which was ridiculously and he knew that and Remus didn’t seem to mind but still the thoughts wouldn’t leave.

“You doing ok? You’re really quiet today.” Remus asked.

“I was just...I’ve been thinking about last weekend.” Janus said.

Remus nodded, “I get it. I was out of line. It won’t happen again.”

Janus’s heart sunk. “Right.” He looked down. 

“Unless...You want it to happen again?” Remus asked.

Janus looked up hopeful, “Yes!..I mean...I don’t know if you’d be okay with it happening again!”

(Two of the other caregiver in the background over hearing this. OVO OH THEY BANGING! o-O N-no they aren’t!)

“I’d love too! Though..maybe we should plan it for my place next time. Just to make sure no one else is around. So you’re more comfortable.” Remus said putting a hand over Janus’s who smiled.

(O-O OH THEY BANGING! OVO THEY BANGING!)

Janus nodded. He took a deep breath. “Will you be my caregiver?” 

(O-o OvO….what?)

Remus smiled. “Yeah. Of course!”

\---

Janus sat on the floor of Remus’s living room. He was dressed in his black and yellow pjs with his stuffed dog (named PatPat named after the one who got it for him.) In his lap. A soft blanket lay nearby and he was coloring with a pair of noise canceling headphones on playing soft music. 

Remus was cooking dinner in the kitchen and could easily keep an eye on Janus. Janus could also easily see Remus at all times. 

Janus smiled and waved and Remus waved back. Janus bounced and flapped his hands. “Happy happy happy hands!” He said a little loud as he couldn’t hear with the headphones. Remus laughed. 

Janus went back to coloring. He felt happy. Content. He trusted Remus. He wasn’t in any danger here. 

Remus waved to get Janus’s attention before motioning for him to take off the headphones. “Dinner ready! I made your favorite. Mac an cheese!”

“Yay!” Janus jumped up and ran in to sit down. He hugged Patpat and bounced in his seat as Remus set the plate down in front of him. 

He took a bite. “It’s good! Good good good!” He repeated rocking side to side a little before taking another bite. 

Remus sat down next to him. “I’m glad.”

Janus giggled. “I drew a picture for you! It’s not good but I had fun!” 

“Aw. I’m sure it’s great!” Remus said.

Janus hummed as he ate. Remus patted the top of his head and he giggled again. Safe touches. Safe food. Safe Remus.

Safe...He finally felt safe.. 

He beamed at Remus and took another bite. 

He guessed being little wasn’t so bad after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I want this to longer? yes. Did I find a way to do that that didn't absolute destroy Janus and Remus in the process? no...no I did not. So happy ending instead of heartbreakingly sad! I hope you all enjoyed! I think I'll go back and write Roman's story in a bit. Maybe a very one shots of this universe.  
>  Maybe. We'll see what the future holds.   
> As always thanks so much for reading!~ free poet.


End file.
